When you think of clean freaks, what comes to mind? You might think of people who disdain the sight of dust, hairs, smudges, marks, things out of place, and god forbid anyone should spill anything.
But it’s possible to be a clean freak in other areas of your life besides your physical living or work space – a metaphorical clean freak.
What is a metaphorical clean freak?
Let me explain. First, the difference between a physical mess and a metaphorical mess…
When you spill a bag of beans on the floor, you’ve created a physical mess. If your floor is filled with piles of books and papers, you have a physical mess.
By contrast, metaphorical messes happen in areas like career, relationships, health, finances and family.
For example, if you say something to someone that you shouldn’t have said and now your relationship has soured or become awkward, you’ve created a metaphorical mess. If you rack up debt that you can’t easily pay, that’s a metaphorical mess. If you freak out at someone during a meeting at work and now your job is on the line, you’ve got yourself into a metaphorical mess.
A clean freak is someone who freaks out at the smallest of messes. They abhor the sight of a mess so much that they often take drastic measures to prevent them, sometimes making the cure worse than the disease.
I grew up with a (physical) clean freak father. We had to change our socks or wear slippers when coming home from outdoors, and our friends couldn’t enter the house until my father inspected their feet and ankles for dirt. If you happened to cry while standing on the carpet, he’d ask you to move to the kitchen so that you wouldn’t stain the carpet with your tears. My mother would joke that our floors were cleaner than hospital operating tables – and that probably wasn’t far off the truth.
Metaphorical clean freaks, on the other hand, will stick to a boring job because they’re afraid of creating a mess by experimenting with a business. They might tolerate crappy treatment from their employer or clients because they’re afraid of poisoning their relationships by speaking up. They avoid social encounters because they’re afraid of looking bad or sounding stupid in front of others. They’re afraid of the hassles and expense of traveling, so you probably won’t see them zip-lining in the Amazon.
Of course, clean freaks vary in their severity, and also the scope of their clean freakness. Metaphorical clean freaks might specialize in one or two or areas of life where they are particularly sensitive to messes.
Should you be worried about being a metaphorical clean freak?
The problem with being a clean freak is that your drastic measures often prevent you from enjoying many life experiences.
I’m not saying that it’s wrong to try to prevent messes. We generally have a natural desire to prevent messes from happening by taking simple, obvious preventative actions. In the case of physical messes, we might move heavy objects away from the edges of tables and counters.
But clean freaks often go overboard in trying to prevent messes, by preempting activities that might lead to enjoyment, fulfillment and expansion of their life experience.
If you’re too much of a physical clean freak, you’ll never be able to host friends or events at your house. Eventually, no one would want to live with you because you’d constantly be on their case about petty issues like not putting the dust cover back on the phone after using it.
Metaphorical clean freaks can be so afraid that things will turn messy that they might not get out much, speak up much, take many risks, or spend money on new experiences. Their friends and family get frustrated with them because they won’t pull the trigger and buy the plane ticket, or speak up to their boss, or take a risk and sign up for personal training sessions.
How to stop being a metaphorical clean freak
After growing up with a physical clean freak father, I turned into a physical clean freak myself. It might be one of the reasons why I had a testy relationship with some of my college roommates. 
I blamed myself for being a clean freak. I tried to change, but I can’t do anything about the fact that I like having a home that’s surgically clean. But I’ve come to terms with how I can both keep my house clean and enjoy activities that might make a mess.
The solution was simple. Allow messes to happen, and clean it up afterwards.
Most messes can be cleaned up with some effort. Relationships can often be repaired. You can make back lost money.
And even really messy messes aren’t as bad as we think they are. Souring a relationship is regrettable, but usually not the end of the world. Nor is spilling red wine on the carpet, a toilet accidentally overflowing, or tree falling on an electrical line. Most things can be cleaned up and restored back to working order if we work at it with patience.
Be willing to make mistakes and recover from them. You’ll waste a bit of money here and there. Maybe you can’t get your apartment leases to overlap perfectly, and you pay an extra month’s rent. Or you switch phone providers mid-contract and pay a small penalty. Or you order a dish that sounds like a nice dinner but winds up tasting like chicken feed.
Maybe you prematurely dump a borderline boyfriend and later come to regret it. Or you sign up for a whole semester of indoor dodgeball but end up hating the way the league is organized. None of these situations is the end of the world. You’ll make more money. Your boyfriend might take you back, or you might find a better one. And you’ll know better next time to eat a different restaurant.
Messes are inevitable. Just as it’s next to impossible to keep a kitchen perfectly clean while you’re preparing a good meal, you can’t keep the rest of your life free of messes while you’re in the process of living a good life. If you don’t want a mess, then don’t cook. And don’t expect to have a whole lot of fun either.
I’m not suggesting that you intentionally create messes in your life. But do realize that a living a good life involves making messes. That’s alright. Clean them up, pick up the pieces and keep going. You’re resilient, and as long as you’re patient, you can recover.
Go ahead and get dirty. Eat on the couch. Sit in the backyard grass. Cook a messy meal. Dump your borderline boyfriend. Sign up for underwater ceramics class.
If you make a mess, clean it up. Have a vacuum cleaner and a mop ready. Repair damaged relationships and beg for forgiveness if necessary.
The self-discovery process of is inherently messy. We inevitably make mistakes and poor judgment calls. Don’t kick yourself. Clean up your mess and move on.
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I'm Bing Wu :) 
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